tiltedhalos - legacy

headings to create

admin — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:26:32 +0000

preface
tilted?
lit-list
faith
photos
archive
email

Attics & Temples

admin — Sat, 07 May 2005 15:54:49 +0000

Attics & Temples
by Rich Mullins

My new apartment is in the attic of Jim and Megan’s house. It’s a big old one-roomer with a mind of its own - a cacophony of lines that occur at approximately 45 to 90 degree angles, with floors that sort of redefine “level.” This attic has it’s own idea of what “square” means; its studs have their own interpretation of the classic 24 inch center. Its walls are loosely vertical and the whole thing is about two weeks away from being much more than a lot of potential. Right now it is resistant to change - openly hostile to my ideas of what it ought to be. But slowly, surely, occasionally even patiently I am (with the help of some friends, a hammer, a saw, some nails and a wrecking bar) enlightening it, changing its self-concept, convincing it that it is not merely an ugly, old attic - it is a great space that I would like to inhabit and be on friendly terms with - a space full of promise and beauty and order and life.

I suspect that it wants to cooperate, but it’s hard and I must be patient. Whoever it was that shaped the attic before me did so with some pretty big nails, deep cuts, hard hammers and rough saws. They considered the attic to be wasted space, storage space - a distance between the roof and the ceiling - a buffer zone and not much else. Someone else came along and closed it in for a smoking room; a place for those ignoble activities that would be inappropriate in the “house proper.” They slopped the walls with cheap, nasty paneling and put in a bathroom, covered the floors with ugly carpet and stunk it up with a tobacco habit.

Sometimes in the heat of the toil of my labor I give in to fits of selfish rage - frustration more over my lack of skill than over my apartment’s progress. But late at night when I look over the piles of dust and dry wall and knee-deep debris that remain during this reconstructive effort, I am strangely moved by the place and I proclaim the gospel to it softly. I say, “I know how it hurts to be torn up. I am often choked on the litter left by my own remodeling. I know what it’s like to settle (by the grave act of a strong will) into the despair of believing that you are wasted space. I have felt the blows of heavy hammers that nailed me to a sense of uselessness. I have been shaped by some pretty careless workers who came to the task of making me and lacked any craftsmanship or artistry. I know the pain of wanting to be changed and yet being distrustful of changes, of wanting to be worked on, but being suspicious of the intentions of the Worker. But here is some good news: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. However messy it may be now, however confusing and scary it appears, however endless the task may seem, we will some day be glorious, beautiful, alive! There is much tearing out to do - a lot to give up. No thin coat of new paint, no shallow, petty piety will do. It’s not good enough to cover up imperfection, it must be corrected. Art, beauty, function - these things take time. They may take till the day of Christ Jesus.”

But we are not wasted space, we are temples of a Being greater than ourselves, temples being built to be inhabited and brought to life. Though we may not understand the process, our Rebuilder does. We are His workmanship and the place where He lives.

Little attic, do not despair! I’m being made by a Master Carpenter. I’m learning a little about building too.

Text copyright Release Magazine, Fall 1993

heather (random Q&A)

admin — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 04:37:15 +0000

1. What is your full name–> Heather Rene’ Humphreys
2. What color pants are you wearing–> jeans
3. What are you listening to right now–> Shane & Shane - “Clean”
4. What was the last thing you ate–> Almonds
5. Do you wish on stars –> no
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be–>Red
7. How is the weather right now–> hot & humid
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone ? Tim
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you–> Yes; who doesn’t like Cara O. ?
10. How old are you today–> 27 years, 3 months, & 8 days
11. Favorite drink–> Lowfat frozen Latte from Corner Bakery
12. Favorite sport–> watch - gymnastics; play - basketball
13. Hair color–>light brown
14. Do you wear contacts–> yes; and fellow drivers should be thankful
15. Siblings–> 1 older sister; 1 younger sister; 1 little brother
16. Favorite month–> December; it’s cold so I can wear sweaters, etc. & I get to see lots of friends & family…Christmas lights; eat lots of treats; JESUS birthday…
17. Favorite food–> Smoothies
18. What was the last movie you saw–> Does a video count?..Phantom of the Opera
19. Favorite day of the year–> ???Christmas
20. What do you do to vent anger–> think; talk to God; let out a lound scream???
21. What was your favorite toy as a child–> An old school desk that I used to play teacher/student w/ my little sister.
22. Summer or winter–>Winter
23. Hugs or kisses–> It depends on who it is.
24. Chocolate or vanilla–> twist
25. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back–> if they have the time…
26. Who is most likely to respond–> Don’t know who I’m sending this to…
27. Who is least likely to respond–> My Dad
28. When was the last time you cried–> The week I moved
29. What is under your bed–> nothing - yet.
31. What would you do over if you could–> Guarded my daily time with God more fiercely
32. What are you afraid of–>I’ll have to think about this one.
33. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn–> light butter
34. Favorite car–> BMW 3 Series
35. Favorite flower–> unexpected from a heart of love
36. Number of keys on your key ring–> which key ring; I have 4
37. How many years at your current job–> 2.25
38. Favorite day of the week–> Sunday
39. What did you do on your last birthday–> Went to Sam Moons & the Cheesecake Factory & saw friends
40. How many states have you lived in–> 2 (Oklahoma & Texas)
41. How many cities have you lived in–> 5
42. Favorite Disney Character–> I need to see a list of choices… Belle??

God’s ass

admin — Sat, 29 Jan 2005 16:47:51 +0000

Last night I was helping a friend unpack boxes in her new house. In the process, I shared a lot of thoughts about de-cluttering and eliminating distractions from our lives. So I went home and made another stab at culling through my books—painful, painful, painful process—but it’s the area of stuff where I have the hardest time weighing value vs. cost. But I know from experience that revelation that’s not put into practice causes stagnation, and suffocates our ability and desire to have vision for our lives. And we have been warned that, “for lack of vision, [God’s] people perish.” And so the bookshelves are making progress… as is my right relationship towards stuff.

Driving home last night after helping unpack, I realized I needed to apologize to my friend for what is perhaps best seen as over-zealousness in sharing my own stories. I constantly wrestle against a desire to play god and fix peoples lives for them, wrongly thinking that if I can just find the right words of wisdom and inspiration, I can change people. When the reality is that it’s God’s role to change people; all I’m called to do is to love God. Fortunately for me, I think part of loving God is sharing ideas and stories and ‘rambles’ with others. And if God sees fit to use my words to change people, then that is awesome.

Rich Mullins tells this story: “I had a professor one time who said, ‘Class, you will forget almost everything I will teach you in here, so please remember this: that God spoke to Balaam through his ass, and He has been speaking through asses ever since.’ So, if God should choose to speak through you, you need not think too highly of yourself. And, if on meeting someone, right away you recognize what they are, listen to them anyway because God [might use them to speak to you].”

God changes peoples’ lives and thoughts in his time. And I don’t ever want anyone to feel that I expect the things that God is teaching me to have any direct effect in their lives. So just because I espouse clutter theories doesn’t mean I expect everyone’s life and house to be junk-free (I know mine is nowhere close); just because I carelessly toss out the word “random junk,” doesn’t mean that I think all memories and keepsakes are “random junk”; and just because I sometimes am overly callous towards sentimental objects doesn’t mean I want us to forget or give up things that still hold meaning in our lives…

…and while I’m sure most of you probably know all these disclaimers, I wanted to be clear that: just because this ass is braying doesn’t mean you need to pay any attention. I never want to ramble or say things in haste, passion or carelessness that might accidentally injure or oppress one of God’s children. My prayer and desire is that we each become faithful to whatever vision, conviction and revelation God quickens to our heart, and perfects in his timing. And praise God if he decides to sometimes make my braying useful.